I want a neck lift.
I know. It's crazy. Plastic surgery.
What am I thinking? I feel like such a hypocrite! All my life I've knocked people for getting plastic surgery for their own selfish gain and when half of them didn't even need the surgery. I understand if it's reconstructive or medically necessary, but I'm pretty sure I don't fall into that catergory.
I've battled with this 'neck waddle' that my family seems to have all my life. I think it got worse after my cancer treatments because the tissue was damaged and fatty deposits settled there. Now I have a neck waddle and miscellaneous neck fat. I don't think much of it until I see myself in photos or in the mirror. Any time I've looked sideways/down/around in a photo you can see my double or even triple chin come out. In my own wedding photos I have shots of me looking sideways and having this blob of skin hanging there.
I don't feel sexy. I don't feel pretty. I don't even feel remotely good looking.
I don't care about my boobs. Or my butt. Or my thighs. Or my hips. Or anything else.
I just want my neck to be normal.
When I caught myself Photoshop-ing my chin and neck before posting a picture of me on the web, I knew something was wrong. I started hating my pictures had very few I would even post of Facebook or MySpace. Even on this blog I chose a photo that did not show my face or chin.
I don't know what I was doing but I remember being instantly relieved and excited at the same time as a ton of bricks fell on my head.
Plastic surgery.
We even have a local office with the hospital I work for. It suddenly seemed within my reach. I began to cry driving down the road. I'm crying now as I type this blog. I could fix this problem that has been plagueing me since I was a child and the one thing that has kept me from truly liking myself.
So I looked up the various prcedures that could be done. I thought if I went in there the DR would look at me like I was nuts or tell me they've never done anything like it before. I was so scared that what I wanted from them would seem outlandish or even impossible. But then I found information about neck lifts. I read the articles, I looked at the diagrams and even looked at before and after pictures. Again, I started crying.
Is it wrong of my to say I want this so bad? Is it wrong to want something this bad that cost so much money? I want to fix this thing about me that is supposed to make me more unique but instead is just making me miserable. I know it is not a cure all and it won't make me look like a movie star. But I don't want it to look like this anymore. I want to feel pretty when my husband says it to me. I want to believe I make a good photo when a family member tells me. I want look on the outside as great I normally feel on the inside (as cliche as it sounds).
Is it wrong to want to change myself for my own selfish reasons?
It's better to change yourself because you want to than if others do.
ReplyDeleteIf you can afford it, go for it. I personally have never once noticed anything about your neck. When I first began reading this post, I thought you were gonna talk about your neck being short or something. I have a short neck, so I was excited we could plan getting longer necks together. :P I was thinking like how those African ladies do it.