July 27th

Now that I have had a minute to stop and breathe, I can finally muse overwhat today has meant to me.  Today is July 27th, which marks 13 years since I had a stem cell transplant to try and cure the leukemia I had been diagnosed with.

When it was done, it was still very experimental and had only been done at my hospital ahandful of times.  Without it, I was sure to die.  With it, we weren't sure of anything.

They gave me six months to live after treatment, as a hope. If I lived, I would have body alteration, learning disabilities and constant supervision.

Well it is 13 years later - and I've graduated high school and college with honors, visit my doctor regularly and married a great man who looks past every scar and every health problem.

So today I went out and celebrated.  I took off work and took a trip to Houston.  My husband bought me my favorite ice cream, I went and saw one of my favorite comedians and got to shop at agiant mall.  Now, I'm tired and will probably need another day to recover frommy day off!

This is me on my wedding day - the day no one thought would come.

Affordable Healthcare: Why The Hell Not?

I admit I haven't posted anything in a while.  Frankly I haven't been 'in the mood' to write and haven't found anything worth sounding off on.  But recently I've been hearing more about the Affordable Healthcare Act and Obamacare and, while I don't know everything, I'm confused by America's reaction.

Again, I don't know everything.  It is hard to find articles about the Act that are not biased or hateful.  I know it is trying to form some kind of public health system for those that either cannot afford to get it from their employers or don't offer it at all.  I'm heard some talk of making having health insurance mandatory to have, which can be obtained by the government if not available at work.

I think that last part is what has most American ticked off - 'required' to have health insurance.
"This is the land of the free, Kristina.  Why do they get to tell me what to do?" - Well they told you that you had to have car insurance in order to drive and house insurance to own a home.  Did you find it unconstitutional?  Did you picket the Whitehouse for it?  I think health insurance will have the same options as car insurance - you either have it and drive legally or you can drive without it and pray you don't get pulled over.

My biggest concern is the lack of empathy Americans have for each other.  For a country based on Christian values and morals, there aren't many willing to share the basic rules of love and hospitality.  I can only share my story in hopes it may open someone's eyes and realize how selfish we are all being by thinking of only ourselves.

I am a cancer survivor.  Sadly enough I have extensive medical needs, including labs, prescriptions and even specialists.  When I was 18 I was employed at a large company with medical benefits, so thankfully, I was able to get the care I needed.  A few years later, I was fired from that job and lost all of my benefits.  My doctors still agreed to see me, but at a heavy cash price.  I was constantly in debt to them and always had collections phone calls wanting to know why my insurance was not paying the balance (uh hello?).

I was out of work for 8 weeks before I found another job, but still couldn't afford the insurance offered on my new, lower salary.  I didn't qualify for Medicaid or government assistance because I didn't have any children.  Eventually, I just stopped going to the doctor.  For many, this may seem like no big deal.  Lots of people skip the doctor.  I felt almost the same way.  I thought I could go longer without checking on my thyroid disease or having my sky high cholesterol evaluated.  I didn't need to know if my platelets were running low that month or if I was possibly coming down with a cold.

But a few months later I freaked out.  I had found a lump in my breast and panicked.  I had several risk factors for breast cancer and knew I should get it checked soon, but I couldn't afford the doctor visit or the specialist visit.  I ignored it and kept thinking it would just go away.  What was I going to do if I had cancer anyway?  I couldn't afford the treatments!

Only after my husband practically begged me to see someone, I finally dipped into our rent money and paid to see the doctor.  After several appointments, I was thankful the mass they had found was benign and was just going to annoy me the rest of my life.  But to this day I still owe them a balance for the visit.

A year and a half after losing my job with benefits, I was able to start at a local business that offered health insurance I can afford.  Needless to say, I was elated.  I had never been so happy to go back to the doctor.  I am thankful everyday I can pick up my medicines and can go to the specialist I need when the time comes.  Frankly, it's the kind of joy I want everyone to know!

So when I heard word of this Obamacare that offered the chance for everyone to be able to see the doctor, my first thought was "Why the hell not?".  Plenty of countries in the world have private and public healthcare systems and networks of doctors that fit into the budget every year.....so why can't we do it?  Everyone is so scared of the government 'taking over' or 'telling them what to do' but no one understands that we can still have choices.  Even countries such as England have two sets of doctors and health clinics - privately owned and government regulated.  You can choose to go to a government clinic if you don't have insurance.  If you do have insurance you can choose the doctor in your insurance's network to see.  Why can't we have that?  We, the 'land of the free' and one of the most wealthiest countries in the world?  So 'wealthy' we can't even try to care for our sick and wounded?

Frankly, I'm tired of the whining and complaining.  Yes it would be hard and yes it may cause a higher tax or some inconvenience somewhere but, good Lord, think of those that don't have the help they need.  While you're popping your multi-vitamin or Tamiflu and reading this, think of that child, mom, dad, grandparent, student that can't afford to even walk into a clinic.  Medicaid/Medicare and government assistance won't cover everyone (trust me I know), so who will?  And I just 'love' those activists that have the argument "Well I work for my money" or "I'm not supporting deadbeats" or something similar. Is this the Christian value we're trying to say America stands on?  Is this really the Karma we need to put out in the universe?

I support something like this because I know what it's like to decide between getting my prescriptions or buying groceries.  I know what it feels like to skip doctor visits and put off seeking medical attention.  I know what it's like to lay in bed at night and wondering where the money can come from to be able to go to the doctor.  I know what it's like to cry yourself to sleep hoping that this lump inside me isn't cancer, wishing it would go away because I couldn't afford to get it checked out.

I know the plan they have out now isn't perfect.  It probably needs amendments or corrections made.  But that doesn't mean we have to throw out the entire plan.  America needs to take care of its people.  What the old saying? - "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" - meaning take care of your healthy citizens now and get the care they need to stay healthy or pay more for their emergent and chronic care later!

PS: I thought this was a great article - http://www.progressohio.org/blog/affordable-healthcare/

12 Days of Christmas Memories - Day 12

Who can forget Christmas Dinner at Denny's!

I would get excited every year to spend Christmas Dinner at Denny's restaurant for either some pancakes or a cheaply cooked steak. Mmmmmm

When I was a kid, my family was very poor.  We spent Christmas Day with our extended family and had a lunch with them all afternoon.  But when dinnertime came around, we didn't have the money (or kitchen) to cook a fancy Christmas dinner just for us.  So one Christmas my parents looked up the few restaurants in town that were open on Christmas.  We went to Denny's and ate out Christmas evening.  As a kid, I was totally stoked about getting to eat out and loved doing it every year.  I knew that when it was time to go, I could take one of my new toys to play with at the table.  I always got chocolate milk or a chocolate milkshake with my dinner. And I usually got pancakes, although in my older years I advanced to the T-bone steak and eggs :-)

Even when my family was more on their feet, I still begged to go to Denny's because it felt almost like a tradition.  I watched the scene change over the years.  The restaurant moved locations.  Every year the menu was different.  Every year the cook ran out of something and they had to take it off the menu.  Every year the staff got smaller and smaller, whcih made the food take longer and longer.  But we usually got nice people and would be glad to leave a big Christmas tip.

Even now that I'm 'all grown up' my husband and I still go.  We love going just to go and relax after a long day with family.  We usually invite people along, but most of them have other plans.  I can't imagine having Christmas and not going to Denny's that night.  If they ever left Tyler I would have to travel to Kilgore just to have christmas dinner!

This year I went with my husband and some of my family.  The waitress was not so great and the food took forever, and while I didn't get as much personal time with my family as I would have liked, it was nice that we were able to make it altogether because we never know when it will be the last time.  If Denny's were to move out of town....I'm pretty sure they wouldn't follow me to Kilgore just to eat there...

12 Days of Christmas Memories - Day 11

My Papaw always had the best Santa hats.  They usually had bells or special bands on it. His hats were always different in some way...and not the dinky dollar store Santa hats.

And I was always special enough to wear Papaw's hat...whichever one it was that year.  I'd run around the house in it and hide my toys in it.  Ilayed with the jingle bell on the end and played with any ribbons or strings attached to it.  Of course in order to wear it I had to behave, Papaw said.  I didn't care.  I was so proud that I was the one out of seven grandkids that got to wear the hat. 

When Papaw got sick he got a new Santa Hat with an adjustable band on the back and a fluffy white collar around the front.  He was the one to wear it that Christmas, although he did offer to me at the end of the day....since we both had bald heads.  He told me to hold onto it for now.

He died shortly after the New Year.  I keep his Santa Hat in my Christmas box, so that every year when I pull out the decorations, I pull it out too.  I haven't worn it since he died, but just know it's still in the box makes me feel a little better at Christmas time.  I know I should pass it on for someone else to enjoy, but I guess I'm too selfish to part with it and miss seeing it every year.

12 Days of Christmas Memories - Day 10

I could so be Santa Claus.....if I hadn't lost those 15 pounds.... lol

But on Christmas morning, I was the one who got to pass out the presents on Christmas morning at my house and at my grandparents'.  I was the one that got to dig under the tree and identify each present and make sure it got to the right 'pile' for each person.  It was fun getting to see the different shaped presents and styles of wrapping of each present.  I usually tried to guess what it was and if I knew what was in the box or bag I would giggle to myself when I handed it to that person.  Almost like "Tee hee I know what it is!"

We had a lot of grandkids in my family, and I never knew why I was the one to always pass out the presents.  Maybe they wanted to put me to work.  Maybe they enjoyed seeing me run around like a weirdo and laugh to themselves about it.  Maybe no one else would do it.  For whatever reason, I loved it and loved being the center of attention while doing it.

But now that I'm older, I don't want to be.  Maybe I'm becoming a recluse in my old age, but I like sitting out of the spotlight.  I usually try to make the now grandkids do it, but then realize none of them can read very well or have a very long attention span.  Then Jeremy or me usually has to kick in and help them out in order to get the presents done before the end of Christmas.  lol

12 Days of Christmas Memories - Day 9

For a few years in a row, my family decided they wanted to film us opening presents with our family.  I found some old VHS tapes in a box from '95 to '97 that showed myself, my sister and my mom opening presents together and then shows where we would go to my grandparent's or aunt's house to open presents with our extended family.

The morning would start at my house and have about an hour of opening presents.  The camera was shaky and the cat or dog always got in the way.  You always heard the 'camera man's' voice talking from behind the lens.  The camera would fade out and would reappear at someone else's house and zoom around the room to see who all was there.  They would tape every person opening presents or any animals running around.  There were even a few shots of the food tables included.

The camera changed hands often so there was always a different view of things.  Even the kids took turns carrying it around and trying to film things.  It made for very interesting tapes and was always fun to look back on. 

I finally pulled out the ones I have and dusted them off to watch them again.  I'm in the process now of converting them over to DVD so I can keep them longer.  They are definitely something worth holding on to.

12 Days of Christmas Memories - Day 8

Getting underwear.  Nuff said...

I remember as a kid you always got one of three presents each year - coloring books, underwear, or soap on a rope.

I don't know why it was my family's favorite thing to give but someone in the group always got underwear or soap on a rope when you got older.  It became so known that every Christmas when we gathered together, everyone kind of got the 'evil eye' look as if to silently ask which one of us was going to pen the underwear today.  With every present, someone in the background would yell "It's underwear!" in hopes that they were the ones opening it and not them.

The underwear and soaps varied every year with every person.  Some people got G-strings and some got old lady underwear.  Men were usually given floral scented soaps and women were given he-man cologne scents.  I'm not sure if we were backwards or just mislabeled the boxes...

I got the coloring books for a few years as a kid and even got the underwear one time when I was older.  They were old lady panties.  I think they were pink and green.