Ok, while driving around with my mother today and after working the overnight shift with little sleep, I had an epiphany.
I could be a waitress at a strip club. Or at least a cocktail waitress.
Brillant right? I have an ok looking face and a body I could hide under some sexy clothing. Imagine the tips I could bring home and stories I could tell of my colorful side job.
Of course, my husband freaked out. He suddenly had images of men groping and grabbing all over me and trying to smack my ass while I work. It was then that we came up with a plan to, supposedly, keep me safe.
Jeremy could be my bouncer.
"No one is going to tip you with some guy following you around"
Jeremy can shake down anyone that tries to stiff my tips. Damn them.
I would still be fully clothed.
"The waitresses have to be topless too ya know."
As the waitress, I'm not the one they're paying to come see. Plus if they're not sitting next to the stage, they're too drunk to know if my boobs are hanging out or not.
I could carry a taser.
"You can't taser your customers Kristina. Then they won't pay you."
I'll taser them after they pay. More of like a 'lesson learned'.
Just give them a good tase and send them out the door. And don't forget to add "Y'all come back now!"
Trust me...I so have this covered.
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