Ok this picture is not a good representation...but it was still funny.
I wish I could instantly forget the mean things people say to me, whether its on purpose or not. I have a tendency to hold on to these hateful words and store them inside of me so I can try to analyze them and pick them apart, which only makes me more obsessed.
You're ugly. You have a big nose. You're selfish. You're a pig. You're a bad person. You're a bitch. Your toes are weird. You're built bad. You're a wuss. You're overbearing. You're unhealthy. You're nagging. You're a bad writer. You're wishy-washy. Your teeth are crooked. You're lazy. You're worthless. You need help.
My husband and I fight plenty enough and he'll shout mean and hurtful things in the heat of anger. I know he doesn't mean them and he of course always apologizes, but there's still this nagging part of me that holds onto his words and let them break me apart.
My friends and family often say things to each other to tease and joke. But sometimes the pin needle goes too deep, and the damage is done. But of course you can't say anything about it. You go on like you're fine and cry about it later in your room alone.
I think it hurts most when coming from complete strangers. I mean, they don't know me enough to really make a good judgement about me anyway, so it shouldn't get to me. But then for the same reason it does. I like to act tough and pretend mean things don't bother me, but they do. I'm human. I feel and I bleed.
My blogs are getting shorter and shorter. I think it's because these topics are harder and therefore harder for me to find the words for them. Bear with me and I'll have something good soon.
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